Paper Boy

One aspect of spending your life with another human being is the fact that you suddenly inherit all of your spouse's quirky habits and traits. What did I inherit as a result of choosing Kurt Kenneth Keisel as my life partner? Little pieces of paper.

For the past four 1/2 years, I have been cleaning up off of counters and dressers little pieces of paper. You might wonder what is on those pieces of paper. I wonder that too. From what I can gather, some are his "to do" lists. Others have random equations on them leaving be to believe one of two things: Kurt is either the next John Nash from A Beautiful Mind or there is more to pharmacy than counting by fives.

Then there are the papers with names on numbers on them. These are the scariest. I can't possibly throw them away because the day will come when Kurt will inevitably ask where that paper is with so and so's number on it and what can I say? So, what I do is let the paper hang out on his dresser for a while; monitoring of course how often he refers back to it. After a few weeks, if the number has not been needed I throw it out. This tactic has been less painful then immediately throwing it away.

In the beginning the papers drove me crazy, but now I embrace them. I make cute little figurines out of them and awesome airplanes... not really.

These are actual pictures from his dresser and the papers on the bed are ones that I cleaned off of the kitchen counter and from the pocket of his pharmacy smock. If you look closely, you can see the equations and the names and numbers. Classic!

What if I can't remember?

I have always heard mothers talk about how they don't ever want their kids to grow up and move away. Or, at missionary farewells mothers often would talk about how the moment they found out they were having a boy they immediately dreaded the day their baby would leave for two years and go on a mission. So far in motherhood I haven't had those same feelings. I look forward to Mason growing up with excitement. I can't wait to get to know him and his little personality better. I get happy butterflies in my stomach when I think about different stages in life that I get to go through as a mother with him.

I don't fear him growing and leaving me someday, but I do fear that my memory will leave me someday. I get so worried that I won't be able to remember how cute his fat thighs are or exactly what his face looks like when he is pulling a fake smile. I fear that I won't remember what his little babbles sound like or how his soft, pudgy hands feel against my skin. This is what breaks my heart. What if I can't remember?

Luckily we have pictures, videos, scrapbooks, and journals to help our memories out, all of which I do regularly. I am also hoping that mother's have a special memory that stays in our hearts. I often marvel at my own mother's memory. She would tell you that it is terrible, and perhaps it is when it comes to ordinary things, but get her talking about one of her kids and she can tell you the details of her children's lives.

Each day I try to take in Mason and the little details of his life so far. Hopefully each nuance that I notice will be imprinted on my heart forever.

Kicked out of the "universal" book club...

I hesitate to even write this post, knowing that I will be crushing the hopes and dreams of so many of you out there, but I can't keep this to myself. For the past year I have heard everyone talk about the book Twilight; how great it is and how they are in love with this vampire, Edward. I have purposefully avoided reading the book, fearing that I would not feel the same way. I have never loved what the majority loves. For example, I thought Harry Potter was lame. However, so many people loved Twilight and loved the romance in it. I am a die hard romantic, so I thought I better give this book a try.

Let me just first say that my negative opinions have nothing to do with the fact that the book is about vampires. In fact, that is one of the only intriguing things I found in the book. I believe the reason why this book makes me roll my eyes over and over again is the corny, unbelievable, lustful romance between Bella and Edward. I could gag every time the author explains how they caress each other's face or how his nose traces her throat. Puh-lease! Again, this is not coming from someone who isn't into lovey stuff. The whole reason why I read romance novels is to turn me on, benefiting Kurt later.

I just don't find the characters believable at all. Don't even get me started on Bella. Could she be anymore awkward with her lack of self-esteem? And I hate how many times the author has to remind us as readers that Bella should be scared, terrified even, but wasn't. Yeah obviously! If your hanging out with a vampire I get that your not scared. And why is she always stumbling and forgetting to breath when he touches her. That is just stupid!

This romance doesn't work for me because the author has to spell out the passion for me. She is constantly describing how their chemistry creates such electricity and drama instead of writing the love story in a way that you FEEL the electricity. Compare it to one of the great authors of all time in my opinion, Jane Austen. The scene she creates when Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth Bennett, "In vain have I struggled... You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you" and then he goes on rattling off all kinds of insults while trying to tell her that he loves her, this sets up a great love/hate relationship for which Elizabeth replies, "...why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character," in my opinion, that kind of writing creates electricity and passion that I feel from my head to my heart when I am reading it. I know that it is probably unfair to compare Stephenie Meyer to Jane Austen, but I am tyring to prove the point that I don't like to be told how the connection is developing between the characters; I want to feel it!

Oh and... if she uses the adjective "chagrin" again to describe the way someone is smiling, I might just throw the book across the room. Use a thesaurus lady!

Now that my negative ranting is over, I should tell you that I am not done with the book yet. I still have 140 pages to go. Perhaps my opinions will change, but I doubt it. I guess I will just stick to reading the classics for now as to avoid any more Lit 2020-in depth-essay-like posts. But I would love to hear your feedback on the above critique, even if you rip me to pieces for my negative opinions.

Word Verifications

If you have ever posted a comment on someone else's blog you have come across the "word verification." You know what I am talking about; that little rectangle where you have to type in the correct letters that appear on your screen to prove that you are a human being. Well, I have something to say about this... sometimes they are hard! Maybe it is just me, but there are times when I concentrate so hard and I still can't figure out what letters they have jumbled together. And as embarrassing as this is, I have failed on more than one occasion (and it was not because of a typo). Please tell me that I am not the only one who has failed the verification process.

I have a theory. I think the blue words are fairly easy, but if you get a long red one, watch out! Those things are dang hard. So if I haven't commented on your blog in awhile, you know why.